My Age: Not Your Business

Hi all,

This is my first post. I have never blogged about anything but let me start by talking about something that has always irritated me.

I have six sisters and one brother and I am the oldest of the eight of us. I have two adult daughters and two granddaughters. I manage a salon where I have worked for almost six years. Over the years my staff has tried to guess my age or try to find our something about me so that can just tell them. Maybe to other people, it's no big deal. However, I have decided that my age is nobody's business but my own.

People always ask my age and I tell them in a playful way, "If I tell you, I have to kill you." I say the same about my recipes. Some things are just sacred, you know. Like some people ask me, "Is that your real hair?" I could ask them, "Are those your real teeth? Are those your real breasts?" I don't, but I could. I simply say sometimes, "If I say yes or no, would you like me more or less? Just curious. Is it really important for you to know? I mean, if it is, I will tell you." Of course by now they are embarrassed that they asked. I mean, really, what does it matter if a woman looks good...just say "You really look nice today." That should be sufficient.



For years, I didn't even think about my age...I just knew I had birthdays. I was too busy running my salon, taking care of my children and living my life. I remember one day having a conversation with someone who asked me how old I was. I immediately said 32...and I meant it. It had been so long since I had acknowledged my age , it just came out of my mouth. I continued to talk and in the middle of my sentence, I realized that I had lied...not intentionally but just the same I had lied. At the time, I was 39. I stopped talking, took a deep breath and realized that I was not 32. Out loud I said, "No...I am not 32, I am 39. I can't believe that seven years has happened to me and I have not noticed." That was a scary moment for me. That age thing is not what I want to address. I also realized that that age thing is not really important.

However, no matter how good you look, people may judge you because of your age. Example: A client of mine who looks about 27, but is really 41 told me that she had been approached by some women in a class she was taking. They had networked for about a month and had made some very important strides. She invited them to her home for lunch one day and they were so amazed that a 27 year old had such a beautiful home. That was when she told the ladies that she was actually 41. The winds changed after the luncheon and two of the young ladies decided to drop out of the networking group because they felt that they had nothing in common with my client. It seemed once the age was revealed, it became a problem. Of course, in this scenario, they both seemed like idiots to me. My friend was prepared to expand her business and had high hopes of them joining her. Of course it was good that true colors emerged at the right time to save her heartache in the future. There are other examples where good employees are passed over because of their age. I know of a situation where the promotion was given to the 26 year old who had worked in the company for 3 months instead of the 59 year old who had been in charge of the company for 2 years while the owner was out of the country. I was a blow to her for sure. By the way, she did not look 59 or dress the part. It is what it is.
Of course it is what it is. It is going to happen. Just like the sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening, age happens. Some people notice, some people don't. I decided I would be one to make a conscious effort not to notice.

My sister had her __th birthday recently (aha! you thought I would slip and tell, didn't you?) If I tell you her age, you can guess mine...NOT! She was going around telling everyone how proud she was of her age because she knew she looked good for her age, yada, yada, yada. That is fine for her, but then she goes on to say, "Now my sister B is older than me." Now what does my age have to do with her conversation? Just leave me out of it thank you very much. My sister loves me and would never hurt me. But I think she knows now that i am serious about her keeping me out of the age conversation.

In the meantime, I intend to take care of myself as the aging process takes place. Thank God in my family, we've got great genes, but I have to meet those genes half way. I still have to do my part. I have to eat right, exercise, get enough sleep, drink lots of water and pamper myself. If i don't, who will?

What I don't understand is why do I see women, some younger, some older, just withering away? Why don't women take care of themselves? It's not just the married ones either. Some are married and some are single. The single are wondering why they have no one and the married are wondering why the husband don't pay them attention. We have lots to talk about in these future blogs, don't we? The way I see it is, with all of the tools and resources these days, no woman has to look unattractive. Like the commercial says, "I can show you how."

Well, I have blogged enough for the night. Got to get some rest 'cause it is late. Until the next time....